Eyes Out Entertainment Forums  
 

Go Back   Eyes Out Entertainment Forums > General > The Katana

The Katana A place to sit and chat about anything excluding Tatsumaki: Land at War.



Reply
 
Thread Tools
  #1  
Old 02-05-2007, 04:19 AM
Delerium's Avatar
Delerium Delerium is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 日本
Posts: 569
Rep Power: 12
Delerium is on a distinguished road
Default While we wait.

Well not much going on the forums so that can only mean one thing. Joke time! Feel free to add your own.



Four Men and Their Dogs

Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were.
To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, "T-Square, do your stuff."

T- square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff."

Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?"

The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, molested the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.
__________________


鋭い刀、厚い鎧、強い心、、、、それが俺の生き方
A sharp katana, thick armor, a strong heart......that's how I roll.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 02-05-2007, 05:43 AM
Raku's Avatar
Raku Raku is offline
The one man Gods fear.
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 1,403
Rep Power: 14
Raku is on a distinguished road
Default Re: While we wait.

Haha, i am literally rolling on the floor - nice post.

I may post some jokes up soon, tommorow in fact, so stay tuned .
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zorbon View Post
concept art improves my modeling abilities by 43%
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 02-05-2007, 05:39 PM
Delerium's Avatar
Delerium Delerium is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 日本
Posts: 569
Rep Power: 12
Delerium is on a distinguished road
Default Re: While we wait.

one more I thought was funny:


A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks to himself, this isn't right, everyone should live in peace. So he stops the bear and rabbit and tells them that if they stop chasing each other he'll give them both three wishes.
The bear thinks for a second and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the forest were female. Poof, all of them are female. Next the rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. The bear looks at the rabbit wondering why he would want a crash helmet.

The bear thinks for a second making sure he makes a good second wish and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the country were female. Again -- poof -- all the rest became female. Then the rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Now the bear steps back and looks at the rabbit in amazment. How dumb is this rabbit he thinks to himself. All he had to do was wish for money and he could buy all the motorcycles he ever wanted. This has to be the dumbest creature the bear has ever seen, he thinks to himself.

It is time for the bear's final wish and he takes a second to think and makes sure he doesn't waste it. After a minute he wishes that all the other bears in the whole world were female. And again poof they are all female.

Next the rabbit puts on his helmet and jumps on the bike. He turns around and smiles. Then he says, ''I wish that that bear is gay.''
__________________


鋭い刀、厚い鎧、強い心、、、、それが俺の生き方
A sharp katana, thick armor, a strong heart......that's how I roll.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 02-05-2007, 05:47 PM
HajimeSaito's Avatar
HajimeSaito HajimeSaito is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 518
Rep Power: 13
HajimeSaito is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to HajimeSaito Send a message via MSN to HajimeSaito
Default Re: While we wait.

First one was funny, second one I've heard but still kind of funny.

Alright what I'm about to post is not original and its not a joke, it is however very amusing. There are some vulgar words in it.(Had to put it as a spoiler just so its optional to view it)

WARNING: Foul Language in the Spoiler.

Spoiler:

OMG I AM LIEK SO DRUNKED CUZ I DRINKED A MILLION BILLION LEMONADES, THE GUY IN THE BAR SED THAT HE PUT VODKA IN THEM, AND HE WINKED AT ME (I THINK HEZ GAY) I CUDNT TASTE ANYTHING BUT I AAM SOOO WASTED RITE NOW, MI MUM IS WELL PISSED OFF CUZ EARLIER SHE WUZ ALL "EAR UR SPROUTS" AND I WAS ALL "FUK U MUM, I AINT EATIN NO SPROUTS", DEN I PLAYED GUITAR ON THE TABLE AND KNOCKED OVER THA CHAIR, AND SHE WAS ALL "GO 2 UR ROOM" SO I WENT 2 MY ROOM AND PLAYED GUNS N ROSES REELY LOUD AND SHE IS ALL ANGRY LOLOLOL BUT I AM SO WAZTED, I HAV ALSO BEEN SNIFFING THE BOARED MARKARZ I STOLED FROM SKOOL CUZ I AM WELL TOUF, SOME OTHER GUY TRIED TO STEEAL THEM BUT I WAS ALL "FUK U" AND I BROKE HIS ARMS WITH YM EYELASHES CUZ I AM A STRONG MAN, HE WAS 25 AND I AM ONLY 11 AND HE WAS ALL 'AWW MY ARMZ LOL' AND THEN I THREW THE AMBULANCE AT MY MUM, SHE IZ SO GAY. BUT I DONT CALL HER GAY OR SHE WILL STOP BUYING ME THE BEANO

IN CUNCLUJUN, U R ALL SUKKOR IN CUMPARISUN 2 ME.


You can't say I didn't warn you.
__________________
Major Hajime Saito of The Ikko Army
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 02-05-2007, 06:18 PM
Delerium's Avatar
Delerium Delerium is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 日本
Posts: 569
Rep Power: 12
Delerium is on a distinguished road
Default Re: While we wait.

Ok here is another one a bit crude so be ye warned!:

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The
young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the
activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the
workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough,
more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and
gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother
who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they
take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to
start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the
little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the
house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house
again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f***ing sheet rock!"
__________________


鋭い刀、厚い鎧、強い心、、、、それが俺の生き方
A sharp katana, thick armor, a strong heart......that's how I roll.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 02-05-2007, 06:25 PM
HajimeSaito's Avatar
HajimeSaito HajimeSaito is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 518
Rep Power: 13
HajimeSaito is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to HajimeSaito Send a message via MSN to HajimeSaito
Default Re: While we wait.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Delerium View Post
Ok here is another one a bit crude so be ye warned!:

A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a
construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The
young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the
activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the
workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough,
more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted
with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and
gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.

At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope
containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother
who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they
take the two dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to
start a savings account.

When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the
little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the
house next door to us."

"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house
again this week, too?"

The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f***ing sheet rock!"
ROFL. Thats really good.
__________________
Major Hajime Saito of The Ikko Army
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 02-05-2007, 06:27 PM
Delerium's Avatar
Delerium Delerium is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 日本
Posts: 569
Rep Power: 12
Delerium is on a distinguished road
Default Re: While we wait.

And more crudeness to the mix. Not too bad though!

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.

Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and
cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed
another 9 times.

I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted
solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible
conflict with him.

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him
"Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all. Whew! Got away with that
one!

Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."

When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed
three times, then said, "Oh ****.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared
it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and
then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
__________________


鋭い刀、厚い鎧、強い心、、、、それが俺の生き方
A sharp katana, thick armor, a strong heart......that's how I roll.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 02-05-2007, 06:31 PM
HajimeSaito's Avatar
HajimeSaito HajimeSaito is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 518
Rep Power: 13
HajimeSaito is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to HajimeSaito Send a message via MSN to HajimeSaito
Default Re: While we wait.

You getting these from a website? Please send me the link. Lol.
__________________
Major Hajime Saito of The Ikko Army
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 02-05-2007, 06:32 PM
Delerium's Avatar
Delerium Delerium is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: 日本
Posts: 569
Rep Power: 12
Delerium is on a distinguished road
Default Re: While we wait.

no my mom used to send them to me when I was in japan. I have years worth of them. I have to edit them because they have those annoying "<" all the way down the messeges.
__________________


鋭い刀、厚い鎧、強い心、、、、それが俺の生き方
A sharp katana, thick armor, a strong heart......that's how I roll.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 02-05-2007, 06:33 PM
HajimeSaito's Avatar
HajimeSaito HajimeSaito is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 518
Rep Power: 13
HajimeSaito is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to HajimeSaito Send a message via MSN to HajimeSaito
Default Re: While we wait.

Ah, k.
__________________
Major Hajime Saito of The Ikko Army
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Sponsored Links


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:32 AM.




Sponsored Links

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Advertisement System V2.6 By   Branden
Copyright 2004 - 2008, Eyes Out Entertainment
Ad Management by RedTyger
no new posts